


Go Big or Go Home

by knarcelestial



Category: Deadpool (2016) RPF, Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers Like Wade, Breaking and Entering, But it's Wade so, Confusion, Do Good Wade, Fluff, Light Stalking, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter brings Stress to the Dads, Pranks, Size Kink, Stripping, Superfamily, and then some Clarity, dares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 17:35:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16727898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knarcelestial/pseuds/knarcelestial
Summary: Peter has done a lot things to get himself out of trouble before, but this has got to be one of the stupidest so far.Or, Peter pretends to be blind and Wade decides to teach him a lesson.





	Go Big or Go Home

 

 

 

 

 

***

“Get ready to lose, Ned. And _please_ do get the two hundred dollars ready for me, will you?”

 

Peter smirks in reaction to his best friend rolling his eyes at him. He runs a hand through his hair. “Alright. Go big or go home, Parker.” He mutters, low enough that only he can hear the reassurance.

 

Peter lets his eyes flutter shut and walks out into the busy street, heart racing and gut churning. He hears the ruckus he’s causing. Rubber burns as tires squeal against pavement, drivers skirting their cars to miss him. Peter huffs, fists clenched in determination and makes headway, past the divider and into the opposite lane. He’s almost to the opposite side of the road- he’s jaywalked along this particular stretch too many times to not know how wide it is- and bites his lip as the thought crosses his mind.

 

He’s going to make it. He’s going to win. Ha! He can’t wait to see Ned and MJ’s face once he turns around.

 

He’s just about to step up onto the sidewalk when a hand jerks him forward, barely missing a car headed his way (one that clearly had no intent of stopping).

 

“Man and I thought I was insane! You must’ve just checked out of a looney bin, huh? Trying to ruin a pretty face like that? That’s just suicidal.”

 

Peter’s eyes open, words ready on the tip of his tongue to spit fire until he sees who’s just told him off.

 

All he sees at first is a wall of red and black. Until, the broad shoulders and large muscles register in as his crush (he’s not proud of it, his Dad definitely disapproves) and Oh God, it’s Deadpool.

 

Peter’s mind races. His parents can _not_ find out about this. If either Tony or Steve heard about this stunt Peter just pulled, they’d lock him up in SHIELD’s highest security prison for at least a week (yeah, his Dads are hardcore like that).

 

Quick, Peter. Think, _think_!

 

“I’m… I’m blind.” Peter blirts.

 

Deadpool seems taken back, like that was the last thing that he was expecting to hear.

 

Peter’s hand shoots out, brushing the air around him like he’s trying to navigate towards the person that he’s talking to. His eyes slant towards the ground and he tilts his body away from the older man so that he’s not directly facing the merc.

 

Deadpool gasps. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t know. Are you- are you okay? What were you thinking walking across the road like that? Isn’t anybody with you?”

 

Peter frowns, bottom lip caught between his teeth in faux guilt. “M-my friend called. Said she was in the hospital. I had to get there. I left my cane at home I was in such a rush. Please, you have to understand. I’m so sorry-”

 

Deadpool’s face contorts sympathetically. He rests a steady hand on Peter’s shoulder, fingers so long they splay across his back. “It’s alright. It’s okay. I’m sorry that I assumed otherwise. I’m- do you need help getting there?”

 

Peter shakes his head furiously. Having Deadpool tag along is that last thing he needs right now. “I’m good. Thank you. I was actually supposed to meet another friend here. He was going to take me to the hospital to meet our friend.”

 

Deadpool nods. “Okay. Here, just-” He places his free hand at the dip of Peter’s back- and wow, that should not send a tinge of arousal down his spine- and guides him to a conveniently placed bench. “Sit here.”

 

Peter signs thank you at the man, hand straightened stiff, tapping his chin. It’s then that he sees Ned and MJ running towards him, frantic, arms wailing around their heaving manic movements. “Peter! Peter! Oh my God, dude. That was wild! Are you okay? Dude, how did you not die?”

 

Peter catches a glimpse at Deadpool’s face and sees it turn more and more sour by the second. He’s just about to say something to his best friend, when Deadpool cuts him off. “You are _awful_ people.” The man says, pointing an accusing finger at Peter’s friends. “You let your blind friend walk across the street all by himself and didn’t even bother to help.” Deadpool scoffs, hands on his hips, disapproval tapering off of his aura in waves.

 

Ned takes a second to catch up with the conversation all while Peter kicks in his puppy eyes to overdrive and mimes the best blind person he could ever be. MJ seems to understand quicker because she scowls at Peter under her breath and grits her teeth. “We’re… very sorry, sir. We’ll take better care of our _friend_ next time.”

 

Peter winces behind Deadpool, MJ is going to totally kick his ass later.

 

The older man hums and turns back around to Peter. “Take care of yourself, baby boy. And stay out of trouble.”

 

A knot forms in Peter’s throat at the nickname and it’s suddenly really hard to swallow. Wow, when did that happen? Peter nods in answer, “I- I will. Thank you.”

 

Peter knows Deadpool is smiling because the white eyes of his mask crinkle and the red leather near his mouth stretches wide. Peter tries to convince himself that it’s the adrenaline from the dare that’s making his heart race so fast.

 

***

 

Wade doesn’t spend too much time at the Avenger’s tower. He’s got other important things to do. Like watch Golden Girls and harass his favorite pizza delivery man, Jeremy. And, really, his only motivation to drop by this early in the morning (it’s two in the afternoon, but Wade refuses to acknowledge time in regular passing) is to grab Steve’s famous chocolate croissants.

 

The man may have rebirthed as a frozen popsicle from the 40’s but his baked goods are the stuff of legend, warming up Wade’s Grinch-sized heart to maximum capacity.

 

That’s why he’s here right now. In the elevator, conversing with Friday. The AI really can keep up with his banter. Wade loses track of time easily as their conversation shifts quickly from video games to saving people from another inevitable alien invasion. For some reason, Wade’s mind wanders to just the other day when he so very kindly saved Petey’s life.

 

Wade couldn’t get the kid out of his head. He swears he’s seen the younger man before, he just can’t recall where.

 

His thoughts are interrupted by Friday announcing his arrival. The aluminum doors slide open and Wade skips into the living room. “Honey, I’m home!” Wade sings, receiving exasperated eye rolls in return. God bless their conformity, it just makes him feel all tingly on the inside.

 

Steve waves him into the kitchen and the rest of them just turn right back to watching Jurassic Park on the TV.

 

Wade strides over and plops himself down on the side of the breakfast bar. “How’s it hanging, Stevie?”

 

And in a surprising gesture of comfort, Steve leans over the counter and actually engages in conversation. “Stressful, actually. Peter is just about driving Tony and I up a wall.”

 

Wade’s heard of Peter before but only in passing. He’s never personally met him or seen a picture, really. Now that he thinks about it, the Avengers have never provided concrete evidence that Peter Parker is actually a real person. Is Wade going crazy?

 

The boxes hum in agreement in an ‘a-ha’ moment.

 

“What’s happened, Cap?” Wade says instead.

 

Steve looks like he’s aged fifty years over the span of a week. Wow, kids must really suck. Note to self: if he actually manages to score a healthy relationship, never have them.

 

Steve sighs. “We had to pay a million in damages because of Peter’s little stunt this weekend. He’s a good kid, I know that he is. But, he can just get into so much trouble sometimes.”

 

Interest peaked, Deadpool leans in and asks, “What did he do?”

 

“Some dumbass thing his friends dared him to do for two hundred bucks. He walked across the street with his eyes closed! He could’ve died!”

 

Wade gasps. “Well, yeah, he could’ve died! Oh my God, how totes cray-cray- Wait, what?” Steve blinks at him, confused at the sudden shift in conversation.

 

“What what?”

 

“What did Peter do?”

 

“He crossed a street with his eyes closed.”

 

Scenes of milky white skin and pouty lips flash across the forefront of his memories. “Um. Where did this happen?”

 

Steve squints at him, suspicious. “On the corner of 4th and Sanford. Why?”

 

Wade shakes his head. “Oh, nothing. Really. Say, you wouldn’t happen to know if your son is, I don’t know, blind?”

 

The look Steve gives him is one that Wade receives often. Steve thinks he’s nuts, but really if what he thinks is true is true then he’ll be showing Steve the one who’s really nuts here.

 

Steve folds his arms across his chest. “No, Wade. Peter isn’t blind.”

 

“Riiiiiightttt. Alright I think I should take my leave now. Bye!”

 

He barely gives the Avengers enough time to respond before he’s flying out of the door to his apartment.

 

He has some Light Stalking to do.

 

***

 

Peter, Wade determines, is a little shit. And deserves a light lesson in the ways of accountability.

 

So, he hatches the most genius plan to ever genius and prepares.

 

***

 

Peter has his own apartment, much to the chagrin of his parents. Of course, they’ve had their fair say in it by securing all entryways and amping up security to keep out any and all threats. So, Wade’s plan of sneaking in is a big no-go.

 

He decides to go about it with some class instead. Because he’s a Modern man like that.

 

He hums to himself as he steps out of the elevator on the fourth floor. He has his suit on sans mask. Peter really needs to get some facial recognition on him if his plan is going to pan out the way that he hopes.

 

When Wade arrives in front of a door with a large, iron 452 nailed into it, he knocks.

 

He hears feet padding towards the front door and the slit of the peephole open before it slams back shut. Hands fumble with the lock to get the door open, before a head pokes out from behind.

 

Peter’s eyes aren’t focused on him and they’re fluttering erratically. Wade has to say, he would’ve had any other Super fooled, but not him. He _knows_ now.

 

Wade masks his emotions and waves, before, realizing that Peter can’t see because he’s supposed to be _blind_ but Wade isn’t supposed to know that he’s not. Oh my God, this is all getting so confusing. Wade needs a juice box.

 

“Hi! Um, my name is Wade? I helped you after you crossed the street by yourself the other day?”

 

Peter gasps and then smiles. “That’s right! Hi! What’re you doing here?”

 

Wade digs around his utility belt until he unveils a satin black choker, the words “Property of Wade Wilson” engraved on the golden disc that sits in the center of it. “You dropped your watch the other day and I came to give it back to you.”

 

Peter’s face contorts first into confusion and then shock before he realizes that he’s actually looking at the object in Wade’s hands and tries to school his face back into indifference. The heat blooming into his cheeks gives him away though.

 

He steps more fully into view. He’s got a loose grey long sleeve crew neck on. The collar barely sagging on one of his shoulders. His skin tight black jeans sit snug on his legs and Wade gives him a nice, long once over in approval. Peter tries to hide his fidgeting, but he shifts around on his feet, anxious. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I was wearing one that day. Are you sure that it’s mine?”

 

Wade hums, voice gravelly when he speaks. “Absolutely. There’s no way that this belongs to anyone else. It suits you too well.”

 

Wade watches as Peter battles with himself, on one hand his face is burning up, embarrassed, flustered, Wade doesn’t know, but on the other, Peter’s jaw clenches, anger seeping into his frame. But, he can’t show it. If he does, then Peter would have to admit he’d lied to Wade that day.

 

Peter swallows his words and holds his hand out. “Th-thank you.”

 

Right before he places the necklace in Peter’s open palm, Wade flips the golden pendant over to reveal another engraving. This one reads “Baby Boy” and Wade can’t help but smirk as he sees Peter pant breathlessly as he takes it. “You’re welcome.”

 

Peter clenches the choker between his fingers so tight that his knuckles turn white.

 

Wade pats himself on the shoulder, proud and silent, before he parts ways.

 

He’s halfway down the hall when he hears Peter growl and slam the door shut behind him.

 

Wade’s got a smug grin on his face all the way back to his apartment.

 

***

 

Part 2 of his plan is goal-oriented more towards getting Peter to confess than embarrassing him. So it’s essential that he gives it his all at this point.

 

After another session of Light Stalking, Wade finds out that Peter is done with classes around 4 pm today. Which means Wade has to be ready to go in about- shit! Now. He has to leave right now.

 

Wade sprints all the way to Peter’s apartment. Thank Fuck for his super duper powers. He’s pretty sure he tore his calf muscles twice on the way over. Yikes.

 

Wade hacks Peter’s security system (it’s a lot easier for a trained mercenary to do than the common man) and sneaks into his apartment. It’s already ten minutes past four, so Peter should be arriving any minute now. Wade scopes out the entire place real quick before he makes his way into what he’s sure is Peter’s bedroom.

 

If he did his calculations right (and he mostly never does) Peter should be home in another two minutes.

 

For once in his life, Wade is right. Peter sets his backpack down near the couch in the living room and makes his way into the bedroom, stripping as soon as he comes inside. Wade inhales sharply. This wasn’t part of his plan. He stands frozen in place behind the curtains.

 

He can’t help it, he pokes his head out because, curiosity, and wow what a Bod. Hot damn. The gears start to churn in his head. Wade steps out from behind the sheets.

 

Peter is halfway through getting his shirt over his head when he pauses in his attempt, not because he can hear Wade but because he can see Wade’s boots treading along his floor from this angle.

 

The younger man exhales shakily and slowly puts his shirt back on.

 

Wade grins. He wore civvies today, so it’s a lot easier to slip out of his clothes than if he were wearing his suit. Wade lifts his arms and gently tugs his hoodie off of his head, letting it thud softly onto the ground. Peter flinches in faux surprise, hand raised in his direction, eyes wide. “Who’s there?”

 

Wade doesn’t say anything, just continues to strip. He’s got his shirt off next and Peter, again, pretends like he’s not blatantly staring at Wade’s broad shoulders and thick, corded arms.

 

Peter reaches over, fiddling to grab something off of his desk. He grabs his alarm clock and waves it threateningly towards Wade. “I-I’m warning you. I have a heavy metal object in my hand and I’m not afraid to throw it! I have great aim for a blind person, I swear!”

 

Wade hums and reaches for the thread of his sweatpants next. He loosens them and tugs at them until they too are falling to the ground.

 

Peter is visibly sweating now, walking backwards until his knees hit the bed. He falls back down onto the fluffy duvet and scrambles towards the headboard. “This really isn’t nice. Breaking and entering! That’s really not a good thing to do, mister.”

 

Wade’s fingers are dancing along the hem of his briefs when he pauses.

 

His eyes lift to make contact with the younger man as he smirks. “How did you know I was a man, Peter?”

 

Peter looks breathless, like all of the oxygen has left the room and he’s struggling to let air pass through his lungs. “I-i’m-”

 

Wade chuckles, amusement sparkling in his eyes. “Gotcha.”

 

Peter groans, head cradled by his hands before he flattens down against the sheets. “Okay, fine! Fine! I’m not blind.”

 

The mercenary runs a finger along his chin like he’s contemplating. Peter bites his lip, “What do you want?”

 

Wade knows that Steve and Tony know about Peter’s little stunt the other day, but does Peter know that they know? Only one way to find out. “I mean, I could tell your parents about this.”

 

Peter’s eyes grow wide. “No! Please! Don’t tell them!” _Oh_ , so he doesn’t know then.

 

“Okay, fine.”

 

Peter looks at him skeptically. “That’s it? You’re not going to blackmail me or anything?”

 

Wade shrugs. “No. That shmuck is for supervillains exclusively, baby boy. I’m an antihero. Get your facts straight.”

 

Peter’s shoulders slump, almost like he’s disappointed. “Oh.”

 

Wade clears his throat. He doesn’t know if now is the most appropriate time to ask, especially since he’s only in his underwear, but hey, if he’s ever going to not be intimidating, now is the time. “Just like in general though, you want to grab some dinner sometime or something?”

 

Peter’s eyes flutter up to meet his. And, wow, Wade’s never actually looked into Peter’s eyes before. They’re _gorgeous._ Chocolate brown orbs with a hint of hazel. Wade could get lost in them in a second.

 

Peter’s smile lights up his entire face. “Yeah. I’d like that. I’d like that a lot actually.”

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yo, send in some prompts! I've got tons of ideas roaming around in my head. I want to know if some of them match your guys' tastes!


End file.
